Should I go to Therapy?

Written By Nicholas Dookheran

If you have been asking “Should I go to Therapy?” then this post is for you.

Many of us will turn to a Uber-Driver if we need transportation, or a Doctor if we our health suffers, or a General Contractor if we are in need of something built. When it comes to issues around our thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and relationships, we can appropriately turn to psychotherapy for help.

Can therapy help me with my problem?

Here are some questions to consider to help you determine whether therapy is the next step:

  1. High Frequency of the Issue - Do you regularly struggle to manage this issue?

  2. Emotional Distress - Are you persistently feeling down, worried, or ready for a fight? Do these emotions get the better of you and you act unfavourably?

  3. Unhelpful Thinking - Do you find yourself ruminating without making progress? Do you slip into black-and-white thinking or other cognitive distortions leading to poor decisions or outcomes?

  4. Incongruent Reactions or Behaviours - Do you lash-out, avoid, or act in regrettable ways? Do you dislike this part of your self but haven’t been able to change it?

  5. Suffering Relationships and/or Poor Communication - Are important relationships suffering because of high conflict, conflict avoidance, or frequent misunderstandings? Do you struggle with formulating the words you’d like to say to others?

If you find yourself answering yes to the above questions or similar questions, then you’ve found the kinds of issues people regularly bring to a registered Psychotherapist.

I’ve never done therapy, what should I expect?

Length, Format, and Frequency

Most therapy sessions are 50 minutes long. I offer therapy appointments by online video call or phone, many therapists offer in-person appointments available at an office or clinic. In terms of frequency of appointments, I ask clients to consider three factors, and then trust their gut: Time Availability, Finances, and felt sense of preferred pace. Most of my clients start weekly or bi-weekly and space things out as they progress. I’ve also had a number of clients that started monthly and maintained that consistency through our therapeutic relationship.

What exactly are we doing in Therapy?

Given the private nature of therapy, it can feel a bit mysterious jumping into it. Even when you are in therapy you might be wondering, “Am I doing this right?” Using the “Johari Window” as a framework, here are four things you’ll be doing in therapy:

  • Bravely Growing the Public Self

  • Humbly Confronting the Blind Self

  • Safely Sharing the Secret Self

  • Collaboratively Discover the Unconscious Self

If what you are doing in therapy fits the above, you are “doing the thing." This often takes the form of reflective listening.

If I may, let me do the therapist thing and reflect back your initial question, “Should you go to therapy?”

If the answer is yes, Here is what you might want to do:

  1. Check out a directory like Psychology Today.

  2. Sort by your preferred filters.

  3. Book a handful of consultations.

  4. Trust your gut and pivot if needed.

Option B: Book an initial consultation with me. It’ll give us 20 minutes to briefly share your current issue, what your hope is for therapy, hear how I might help, and get the ball rolling if you feel I am a good fit.

Nicholas Dookheran